OLC57: The Flame Pants

Location: Unknown.

Status: Unknown, presumed active.

Description and Behavior: The Flame Pants are a pair of anomalous dress pants formerly worn by the con-artist turned politician and third-party presidential candidate Dexter Mallory. They adjust themselves to perfectly fit anyone wearing them. Their anomalous qualities manifested during one of Mr. Mallory’s infamously fallacious speeches on September seventeenth, 1960. On that occasion, the pants ignited and within seconds burned Mr. Mallory to ashes. The Flame Pants themselves were not consumed by the fire, and their effect seem far less pronounced than they were in that first incident.

When not worn by a living person, the Flame Pants look just like a regular pair of dress pants. As soon as the pants are put on, however, they ignite into a blazing fire that does not harm the wearer directly though it can light flammable material on fire which can harm the wearer. While wearing the pants, the wearer will find themselves completely incapable of telling the truth. Fortunately, very few have perished due this object, as most have the sense to remove the pants.

Recommended Actions: If you encounter the Flame Pants, it is highly recommended not to put them on. If you put on a pair of dress pants and they turn out to be the Flame Pants, please calmly and quickly remove them before your surroundings catch on fire. The location is not currently known, nor is it verifiable that this object still exists. Its last known location was the donation bin of a thrift store in Springfield, Missouri. If located, please contact us at PRAE.