OLA98: Universal Pink Slips

Location: N/A

Status: Inactive, known instances destroyed.

Description and Behavior: Universal Pink Slips were anomalous pink pieces of paper contained within a notepad. Each piece measured five inches wide by eight inches long (12.7 x 20.3 cm) and was by default blank. The notepad was estimated to hold fifty pages, all of which were accounted for by the time of the destruction of the Universal Pink Slips. A stylized “You’re fired, forever!” sticker was present on the notepad’s black cover. Notably, the notepad itself was devoid of discernable anomalous properties.

The anomalous effect of the Universal Pink Slips was that if a person wrote the name of a person they knew or knew of, the person whose name was written would immediately lose any employment they had. Additionally, the victim would be utterly incapable of obtaining any gainful employment, with recorded occurrences of victims being incapable of even self-employment. This typically led to destitution and homelessness for any victims without large amounts of pre-existing assets. Unfortunately, the reckless destruction of the Universal Pink Slips by an unnamed and likely anomalous vigilante has not reversed the circumstances of the victims. It is fortunate that the destruction of these anomalous objects did not generate any perceivable additional issues, as the impulsive destruction of the anomalous often can.

Recommended Actions: Due to the Universal Pink Slips being destroyed, encountering them is highly unlikely. In the event of their re-emergence or the emergence of similar anomalous objects, do not write anything on the papers. If you become aware of someone utilizing such objects for nefarious purposes, please report them to the relevant authorities so that they may be prosecuted for their criminal use of the anomalous. If possible, please turn over to us any similar anomalous objects so that we may study them in the hopes of undoing the horrible circumstances of the victims of the Universal Pink Slips.

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