OMA13: Cronch Brand Foods

Location: Any supermarket.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: Cronch Brand Foods is an anomalous food brand that manifests as a display in supermarkets. It has taken the form of chocolate bars, cereal, yogurt, milk, cheese, bread, deli meats, and cookies. While appearing to be normal food when held, when chewed it always has the consistency of styrofoam and the flavor of boiled egg whites.

When the manifested display is interacted with by a person a man will approach and greet them in a familiar manner, referring to the person as Bill if male and Mary if female regardless of their actual name. From this point deviating from the ‘script’ of this entity will have grave consequences. The ‘script’ is as follows:

Cronch Enthusiast (CE): Eh Bill/Mary, whazzup? Checking out Cronch Brand (product)?

Victim (V): (Positive affirmation)

CE: Good call! After all, Cronch Brand (product) is a good source of (nutrient) and (another nutrient)!

V: (Enthusiastic surprise)

CE: Yes! That’s why Cronch Brand (product) is sure to take a bite out of the naysayers! Well, see you later Bill/Mary! And remember, Cronch…

V: Or be Cronched!

If the script is followed to satisfaction the man will leave and disappear immediately after exiting the front doors of the supermarket. If any deviation from the script occurs at any point the man will scowl at the victim and immediately disappear. At that point a large, grotesque floating head will manifest on the other side of the supermarket and immediately make a beeline for the victim. Once reaching the victim, the head will knock them down and start eating them from the feet up. The head has strong jaws and at least five rows of teeth it uses to deliberately crush as many bones in the victim’s body as possible. Any attempts to physically damage the head have little to no effect. Nearing the end of the victim’s consumption a female voice will say, from no discernible location, “Cronch or be Cronched!”

After the event has occurred, whether the script was followed or not, a ’commercial’ of the event will be played for the friends and family of the victim when they watch television or an online video. If script was deviated from, the gruesome death of the victim will be shown in full. The people who see the commercial will be more likely to encounter Cronch Brand Foods when they go grocery shopping. Unusually for a commercial, the commercials generated by this process have credits. These credits list the roles of ‘Victim’ as played by the victim of the encounter, ‘Cronch Enthusiast’ as played by Mr. Cronch, the ‘Jaws of Justice’ as played by Zaluuth the Lesser, and the female voiceover as Catherine Cronch.

Recommended Actions: Firstly, it is recommended to avoid interacting with Cronch Brand Foods at all costs. If it cannot be avoided it is then recommended to play along with the ‘script’, as resisting the event associated with the object always results in death. If you find yourself in the event and are uncertain as to what to do, rely on your instincts and act like you are in a commercial. If you do survive the encounter, it is important to warn your friends and family of what they may encounter.

IHA6: Gud Fud Gang

Location: American and Canadian cities, usually in downtown areas.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: The Gud Fud Gang is a cannibalistic street gang that specializes in human trafficking and contracted killings. It operates in many cities in the USA and Canada, and is made up of about eighty-one outfits. Each outfit is led by a member called a ‘Boss’. Members can be easily identified by their physical appearance. They tend to have extremely stocky builds, never being taller that six feet (1.8 meters) while typically weighing close to four hundred pounds (181 kilograms). Despite appearances, much of this weight is muscle. In addition to their build, members of this gang can also be identified by their large heads. Their heads have been observed to be four times as large as a typical human’s, with mouths described as being wide and lipless. Their mouths are large enough to fit an entire human head, and their jaws are strong enough to crush a skull without issue. The two anomalous qualities shared by all members is an incredible appetite for human flesh, capable of eating hundreds of pounds, and regeneration from non-fatal injuries.

Gud Fud Gang members are nocturnal and are most active from 10pm to 5am, though this does vary with the season and specific cities. The various regional outfits that make up the gang will use their active hours to search the streets and alleys for lone individuals to kidnap. It is then decided as to whether kidnapped person will be ransomed, sold, or devoured. The main other activity of the Gud Fud Gang is organized hit jobs, either in service to the gang or paying clients. All activities carried out by the gang are usually done in groups of two or three. Members tend to avoid carrying out activities around large crowds, as it raises the odds of retaliation or the authorities being contacted.

The gang is unified by their loyalty to a being called ‘The Great Boss’, who seems to responsible for the anomalous nature of all gang members. Said to be located deep in abandoned mines along the American east coast, it is described by survivors as a great mass with hundreds of mouths and thousands of long arms. The Great Boss is believed to have dug a complex series of tunnels between these mines, allowing it to unpredictably change its location to avoid being found by those wishing to harm it. The outfits of the Gud Fud Gang covertly take prospective members, willing or otherwise, to this Great Boss and it by an unknown process transforms them from regular humans into Gud Fud Gang members.

Recommended Actions: The Gud Fud Gang is by all accounts ruthless and brutal. They do have a very predictable time frame of operation, though, and can be easily avoided by simply not venturing into urban areas at night. If it is necessary to go into the city at night, try your best to stay in a group and avoid areas like alleys or other out of the way locations. If an encounter with a Gud Fud Gang member or members does happen, go as fast as possible to an area with a lot of people and call the police. Gud Fud Gang have an aversion to crowds due to the potential for retaliation, so you are much safer there.

OHA5: The Familiar Corpse

Location: Usually inside residences or areas of low foot traffic.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: The Familiar Corpse is an incredibly dangerous entity, especially to anyone who is unaware of its effect. This effect is the entity’s ability to be perceived as being the dead body of whoever sees it. It is then that the affected individual will obsess over the corpse, behaving in a manner reminiscent of intense grieving. This manifests in the person remaining close to the entity, wondering aloud about how the death occurred. Often this continues for days, with the victim or victims neglecting their own needs to be by the entity’s side. The typical victim will die due to dehydration after a number of days. The situation becomes especially dangerous if the victim is strong enough to carry the entity away from the initial location allowing the effect to spread far further than is normally probable.

The effect the Familiar Corpse produces also manifests through pictures and video. If a person witnesses a picture or video of the entity, they will be filled with the intense desire to locate what they believe to be their own dead body. They will relentlessly pursue finding the body, often to their own detriment. The only people who can seemingly shake off the effect by the Familiar Corpse are people with a low self image. They frequently recognize the body as themselves but are able to move on.

Recommended Actions: Because of this entity’s ability to alter minds there is little that can be done in an encounter. It is known that persons with a high opinion of themselves and their abilities tend to react much more strongly to this entity and are less likely to survive. Therefore, the best course of action to maximize survival is to develop a modest sense of self.

PHA3: Carnivorous Houses

Location: Potentially anywhere, with a preference for suburban areas.

Status: Active.

Description and Behaviour: Carnivorous Houses are anomalous entities that manifest on empty plots of land, usually in suburban areas and conforming to local architectural trends. The Registry has so far tracked at least sixteen instances. Residents in the neighborhoods of these instances consistently report that the manifestations start as slow progressing construction sites that never seem to have workers onsite. The current theory is that the houses are self-constructing, which is supported by the fact that the plots in question are never actually purchased.

After construction is completed, neighbors will start to believe that a person or persons have moved into the house. This is despite the complete absence of activity in or around the structure. The non-existent occupant will develop a positive reputation in the community without anyone having encountered them. It is then that people will believe themselves invited into the house for either a party or dinner.

Anyone using any door inside or outside of the house will find it leading to a seemingly random room in the house. The doors forcibly close upon entering every room and if opened again will lead to a different room. If the house rejects a person the front door will instead lead to the back door, and vice versa. A person is rejected if equipped with tools that may help with escape (a sledgehammer, for example). Once inside the building, the ‘guests’ often become panicked after looking around the house for their ‘host’ and discovering the anomalous nature of the building. This leads to them frantically going from room to room searching for a way out, often for hours, tiring themselves out. Eventually, once the victims are unwary with exhaustion, they open a door that leads to what is presumed to be a large stomach where the victim falls in. The few survivors who saw the room without entering have described as a “moist, fleshy stadium” with steep sides and a pool of acid at the bottom filled with partially digested people. This room has never been located in any demolitions of these entities, and therefore its location is presumed separate from the Carnivorous Houses.

Recommended Actions: Due to the clear mind-altering nature of this entity, many of its potential victims fail to take proper precautions or take proper actions when in the Carnivorous Houses themselves. It is important to take your time, assess your situation, and preserve your energy. So far, every manifestation of these entities has been able to block cell phone signals either partially or fully. The best course of action is to make sure people, such as family, are always aware of your plans and wait for rescue when your disappearance is noticed. If no one is aware of your plans, make as much noise as possible to try attracting attention to your situation.