SMA49: The Great Stooge

Location: Manifests inside of minimum wage workplaces.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: The Great Stooge is a seemingly mute anomalous entity known for pretending to be an employee in the minimum wage workplaces it manifests in. It appears as a tall, rotund clown dressed in the uniform of the establishment. While the customers and staff will recognise that the Great Stooge does not belong, the management and owners will be anomalously affected to see it as being an employee.

When ‘working’ at an establishment it will seemingly attempt to do the tasks but fail in a spectacular slapstick-like manner. This unfortunately can cause injury and/or death to those in the area who are not the management. Some notable examples include blunt force trauma inflicted when the entity tried to ‘exterminate’ a rat with a bat, mouth lacerations from shattered plates ending up in food, and decapitation from an attempt at unclogging a toilet. Despite whatever havoc the entity causes it will emerge from the situation unscathed. Any management or owners will not recognise the situation to be caused by the entity and will instead blame any nearby employees. If injury or death had occurred in the situation, they will treat it as a minor inconvenience instead of giving it the attention needed.

Attempting to stop or confront the entity will typically result in maiming or death, due to its capacity to turn any situation into a slapstick debacle that causes anyone trying to stop them to suffer. The Great Stooge’s habit of turning to any available camera and giving a ‘bashful shrug’ after each incident seems to indicate at least partial awareness of it being the cause of destruction. When the entity de-manifests it typically honks its nose and waves to any nearby persons before exploding into confetti.

Recommended Actions: If the Great Stooge manifests at your workplace, it is important to stay calm and avoid its general area by getting as far as possible. This is to avoid its anomalous effect of causing inherently dangerous situations. It is recommended to attempt to evacuate the area of people. Management will be resistant to the notion, so it may be necessary to simulate another emergency. If management refuses to cooperate, it is advisable to leave anyway.