SHN41: Miss Matchmaker

Location: A large mall-like structure orbiting Venus, where ‘guests’ are transported by invitations.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: Miss Matchmaker is an entity that resides in ‘The Love Mall’, which orbits around the planet Venus. It declares itself to be a fallen angel, or demon, of love. These claims are currently unverified. The entity is described by survivors as resembling a tall, slender woman made of porcelain with large white feathered wings. An exact height is not known, though it is estimated to be at least twelve feet (3.7 meters) tall. Matchmaker enjoys presenting itself extravagantly, painting its ‘skin’ with vibrant colors and patterns, and wearing outlandish clothing.

This entity uses invitations that once opened and read immediately transports the ‘guest’ to the Love Mall. Once there, Miss Matchmaker will greet the guest/guests and encourage them to wander the mall to “find their true love” among the various anomalous entities within the structure. Quite a few of these entities pose a significant danger and are more than willing to kill the guests. Guests who both survive and successfully seduce one of the entities will be transported with the entity to a remote self-sufficient cabin to live together.

Miss Matchmaker itself does not seem to feel attraction and seems to respond violently to any guests insisting on directing their efforts towards it. It claims that it just wants other people to be happily together. The entity has proven willing to listen to truthful objections from guests to the situation, though can become violent if irritated by ‘excuses’ not to fall in love. In rare circumstances, the entity has even returned some guests home with an apologetic gift basket.

Recommended Actions: The first recommendation is to not open any unexpected or suspicious envelopes received either in the mail or in person. If you do find yourself in the Mall of Love, it is recommended to attempt to talk to Miss Matchmaker to attempt to convince it to return you home. The best angle of negotiation to achieve success, and reduce the odds of a violent reaction, is to communicate to it that you are not interested in finding love in the circumstances offered. If this fails, track down a relatively low-risk entity to attempt to pair up with.

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