OLC37: The Thought Catalogue

Location: Is shipped to homes from an unknown address.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: The Thought Catalogue is a sales catalogue advertising various “States of Mind” (listed as SoM for short in the catalogue) for sale. There are anywhere from eighty to two hundred of SoM in these catalogues, depending on which season. Among them are the “Positivity SoM”, “Job-Focussed SoM”, and “The Realist SoM”. Under each listing is a description of the SoM, as well as a satisfaction or money back guarantee.

If a person fills out the order form in the back of the Thought Catalogue and places it in the mailbox, regardless of whether it was addressed, an entity resembling a tall and thin man in medical scrubs will manifest in the home of the ‘customer’ that or the next night. It will bind the customer and immediately start performing an anaesthetized lobotomy on them. This of course causes intense pain for the ‘customer’ and they often die from the trauma. If they survive, their mental state going forward will reflect the SoM they ordered. Regardless of survival, the amount the order cost will be deducted from the bank account of the customer. If the customer lacks the funds, objects equalling that value will disappear from their home.

Recommended Actions: As there are no recorded instances of the Thought Catalogue doing harm to those that do not place an order, it is recommended to simply ignore the Thought Catalogue you receive it in the mail. If possible, please alert any people who also receive the catalogue of the potential danger. Most of all, please prevent anyone from filling out the order form as a joke.

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