SHN9: Mr. and Mrs. Happy-Stab

Location: The Great Lakes Basin area, could potentially move location.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: Mr. and Mrs. Happy-Stab, also known as just ‘Happy-Stab’, is the resultant anomalous entity brought about by the union of two separate entities. The first is an anomalous robot designed and created by Dr. James Sout called the Helpful and Personable Partner for You (HaPPY simplified to Happy). Happy was originally designed to be a humanoid ‘helper-bot’ before Dr. Sout somehow rendered it anomalous, allowing it to achieve physical and computational feats beyond what it should be capable of. When Dr. Sout ordered Happy to bring happiness to the world it immediately destroyed all records in the laboratory and sought out the second component of its current form. Dr. Sout is currently missing and presumed deceased.

The second entity that makes up Happy-Stab is the Dagger of Ecstasy. This dagger was reportedly the same one used by the jester Maria Stab to slay King Rex after telling him a joke so good it that he would not stop laughing despite her growing frustration. After killing the King, Maria Stab was then cursed to become one with the dagger which now would put anyone who is stabbed with it into an ecstatic state until death. It is unknown how literal or accurate this story is. What is known is that Happy immediately sought out the Dagger of Ecstasy after being told to bring happiness to the world and then developed a relationship with it.

The current entity of Happy-Stab occurred months after the initial acquisition of the Dagger of Ecstasy by Happy. Survivors of encounters with Happy note that Happy and the dagger would frequently converse with each other. Over time, the conversations became more affectionate with both entities referring to the other with pet names. Eventually Happy permanently incorporated the dagger into his right arm and the entities declared themselves ‘married’, Mr. and Mrs. Happy-Stab. As they are permanently combined, they are now considered a singular entity. Physically this entity is in a constant process of self modification in the pursuit of more effective predation and so lacks consistent a consistent description beyond having a ‘smiley face’ head and the dagger fused to its arm. It has been recorded to have been as small as four feet (1.2 meters) tall to as tall as twelve feet (3.7 meters) in various encounters.

Mr. and Mrs. Happy-Stab as an entity has the motivation of bringing happiness to the world, which it aims to achieve by stabbing any unhappy people with the Dagger of Ecstasy. The stabbings are usually fatal; though if a victim does manage to survive, they will have an inability to experience negative emotions such as anger or fear. Happy-Stab will often converse with itself about the situation, often with the two components of the entity expressing different opinions. The Happy component seems significantly less willing to undertake violence, usually willing to take victims at their word as to their emotional state.

Recommended Actions: Mr. and Mrs. Happy-Stab is significantly faster and stronger than any human. It is therefore recommended that if this entity is encountered the most viable means of survival is to convince it of your positive emotional state. Any attempts at escape or self-defence will be treated as signs of unhappiness.

OHC8: Spider Sodas

Location: Convenience Stores and Vending Machines

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: ‘Spider Sodas’ are seemingly normal cans or bottles of soft drink beverages of any brand, with the only distinguishing feature being that the ingredient list is written in an unknown language. When the supposed ‘soda’ contained within contacts human saliva it reacts by transforming the entire container of fluid into the most venomous local spider species. This occurs at a rate of one millilitre being equivalent to one spider regardless of size. Even if part of the liquid is poured in a separate glass the entirety of the soda will transform when the reaction occurs. Due to the nature of this anomalous reaction it is quite common for victims to receive spider bites on the inside of their mouths.

Recommended Actions: It is our recommendation to check all labels of soft drink beverages and dispose of any with suspicious ingredient lists. If you or someone in your proximity activates the reaction, remove the spiders from the mouth and vacate the area. Then be sure to get treated with antivenom. It may be necessary to bring in an exterminator to deal with the sudden infestation.

HHH7: The Vapors Priest

Location: The Mediterranean region.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: The Vapors Priest was the head of the Chained Gods Temple before its dissolution and is the current head of the splinter organisation Servants of the Chained Gods. This entity is a smooth blue gemstone resembling a human eye in both appearance and size. The ‘eye’ emits a blue vaporous mass shaped like a human torso with four arms and a head. In the middle of what would be the face is where the ‘eye’ is located. The Vapors Priest is able to control its vapors to such a degree as to be able to decide whether objects can pass through its mass, which allows it to do such acts as pick up objects with its ‘hands’.

In order to understand the Vapors Priest, it is important to understand the pantheon of ‘gods’ it claims to serve. It is claimed that the full forms of the Chained Gods are kept imprisoned in the deepest depths of a great lake of fire by their enemies, the Oppressor and the Traitor, and will be freed upon the restoration of the Bust of the Goddess (OLC1). For the time being they interact with the mortal world through significantly weaker ‘conduits’. Out of the thousands of gods worshipped, the main five are as follow:

The Chained Goddess is the chief god, she is also known as the Mistress, the Queen, Ri’Lheni, and Vynis. Her full form is described as being reminiscent of a massive female centaur; though with three eyes, a multitude of horns, and equipped with a halberd. Literature associated with the worship of the Chained Gods claim her to be the goddess of motherhood, order, and justice. Her followers pray to her about issues related to planning, parenting, judging, and protection.

The Crystal God functions as the second in command in most Chained Gods myths and is also known as the Librarian, Clear-Maker, Curiothrax, and V’Thuuk. His full form is described as a thousand-side crystal with an eye on every side and countless scrolls containing great knowledge floating around him. He is claimed to be the god of knowledge, discovery, and history. Followers pray to him about issues relating to the unknown, records, and research.

The Harvest God operates as an advisor to the other gods and is also known as the Time-Keeper, Intercessor of the Faithful, Logothrax, and U’Lukrwth. His full form is described as a sphere of flesh with a multitude of extremely long ‘fingers’ he uses to interact with the world and hold his harvesting tools. He is claimed to be the god of the harvest, logic, calendars, and souls. Followers pray to him about issues relating to food, interpretation, and that he will grab their souls when they die so that they can be with their gods. Some literature depicts this entity as female.

The Marcher Goddess is the head of the armies of the Chained Gods and is also known as the Great Lizard, the Warrior, B’Thule, and Qi-Syth. Her full form is described as a massive humanoid reptile with two heads and covered with ornate armor, armed with a spear and followed by her reptilian servants. She is claimed to be the goddess of war, dueling, and honor. Followers pray to her about issues relating to war, martial prowess, and protection from schemes.

The Cannibal God currently occupies no official role but used to be the executioner of the Chained Gods and is also known as Sir Sackcloth, the Chaotic One, Saedo, and Xarquul. His full form is described as a skeletal figure with massive wings and antlers, clothed in sackcloth and rough iron armor while armed with a large battle-axe, grey glowing piercing through a sackcloth veil. He is claimed to be the god of chaos, murder, and torture. It is required by the followers of the Chained Gods to pray to every single other god for protection from him before attempting to pray to the Cannibal God. Due to this, he is only ever prayed to for extreme acts of vengeance.

With this knowledge in mind, the Vapors Priest serves these entities by undertaking actions to further their goals with especial dedication to the Chained Goddess. These actions include intelligence gathering, anomaly acquisition, and assassinations; and the actions themselves are usually performed by members of the Servants of the Chained Gods. These ‘Servants’ are persons that the Vapors Priest convinced to inhale the vapors that it produces. The vapors grant the person anomalous qualities in exchange for a reduction in the capacity for independence. This is likely due to the collapse of the Temple in part being caused by empowered members of the Temple operating too independently of the Priest’s plans.

Recommended Actions: If you encounter the Vapors Priest, or the Servants of the Chained Gods, vacate the situation immediately. Anyone who is caught is always either persuaded to join them or killed. The best way to escape the situation is by using a vehicle to get away from their area of operation. These areas of operation tend to be near and focused on other anomalous entities. Therefore, it is important to make haste to an area devoid of anomalous activity as the Vapors Priest rarely moves far from its goals.

IHA6: Gud Fud Gang

Location: American and Canadian cities, usually in downtown areas.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: The Gud Fud Gang is a cannibalistic street gang that specializes in human trafficking and contracted killings. It operates in many cities in the USA and Canada, and is made up of about eighty-one outfits. Each outfit is led by a member called a ‘Boss’. Members can be easily identified by their physical appearance. They tend to have extremely stocky builds, never being taller that six feet (1.8 meters) while typically weighing close to four hundred pounds (181 kilograms). Despite appearances, much of this weight is muscle. In addition to their build, members of this gang can also be identified by their large heads. Their heads have been observed to be four times as large as a typical human’s, with mouths described as being wide and lipless. Their mouths are large enough to fit an entire human head, and their jaws are strong enough to crush a skull without issue. The two anomalous qualities shared by all members is an incredible appetite for human flesh, capable of eating hundreds of pounds, and regeneration from non-fatal injuries.

Gud Fud Gang members are nocturnal and are most active from 10pm to 5am, though this does vary with the season and specific cities. The various regional outfits that make up the gang will use their active hours to search the streets and alleys for lone individuals to kidnap. It is then decided as to whether kidnapped person will be ransomed, sold, or devoured. The main other activity of the Gud Fud Gang is organized hit jobs, either in service to the gang or paying clients. All activities carried out by the gang are usually done in groups of two or three. Members tend to avoid carrying out activities around large crowds, as it raises the odds of retaliation or the authorities being contacted.

The gang is unified by their loyalty to a being called ‘The Great Boss’, who seems to responsible for the anomalous nature of all gang members. Said to be located deep in abandoned mines along the American east coast, it is described by survivors as a great mass with hundreds of mouths and thousands of long arms. The Great Boss is believed to have dug a complex series of tunnels between these mines, allowing it to unpredictably change its location to avoid being found by those wishing to harm it. The outfits of the Gud Fud Gang covertly take prospective members, willing or otherwise, to this Great Boss and it by an unknown process transforms them from regular humans into Gud Fud Gang members.

Recommended Actions: The Gud Fud Gang is by all accounts ruthless and brutal. They do have a very predictable time frame of operation, though, and can be easily avoided by simply not venturing into urban areas at night. If it is necessary to go into the city at night, try your best to stay in a group and avoid areas like alleys or other out of the way locations. If an encounter with a Gud Fud Gang member or members does happen, go as fast as possible to an area with a lot of people and call the police. Gud Fud Gang have an aversion to crowds due to the potential for retaliation, so you are much safer there.

OHA5: The Familiar Corpse

Location: Usually inside residences or areas of low foot traffic.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: The Familiar Corpse is an incredibly dangerous entity, especially to anyone who is unaware of its effect. This effect is the entity’s ability to be perceived as being the dead body of whoever sees it. It is then that the affected individual will obsess over the corpse, behaving in a manner reminiscent of intense grieving. This manifests in the person remaining close to the entity, wondering aloud about how the death occurred. Often this continues for days, with the victim or victims neglecting their own needs to be by the entity’s side. The typical victim will die due to dehydration after a number of days. The situation becomes especially dangerous if the victim is strong enough to carry the entity away from the initial location allowing the effect to spread far further than is normally probable.

The effect the Familiar Corpse produces also manifests through pictures and video. If a person witnesses a picture or video of the entity, they will be filled with the intense desire to locate what they believe to be their own dead body. They will relentlessly pursue finding the body, often to their own detriment. The only people who can seemingly shake off the effect by the Familiar Corpse are people with a low self image. They frequently recognize the body as themselves but are able to move on.

Recommended Actions: Because of this entity’s ability to alter minds there is little that can be done in an encounter. It is known that persons with a high opinion of themselves and their abilities tend to react much more strongly to this entity and are less likely to survive. Therefore, the best course of action to maximize survival is to develop a modest sense of self.

SHH4: Burlap

Location: Anywhere, with a preference for small rural towns and villages.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: Burlap is an entity that takes the form of a large and heavily built male human. It is estimated to be seven feet (2.1 meters) tall and weigh in excess of three hundred pounds (136 kilograms). Its clothing typically consists of a burlap sack with eyeholes cut out over its head, shirt and pants made of crudely sewn together burlap, a worn-out fur-lined coat, fur boots, and hand wrappings. The clothing can vary considerably, however the burlap sack on the head remains consistent. Typically, Burlap wields an especially large two-handed axe but has also exhibited the ability and willingness to use other weapons to inflict harm. This includes swords, firearms, pipes, a book, and various anomalous artifacts if available.

Many of the anomalous abilities exhibited by Burlap ensure difficulty in surviving an encounter with it. Most important to note is that even if termination is achieved (indicated when its body turns to dust) Burlap has the ability to near-immediately re-manifest, usually in a nearby location just outside of view. Burlap seems to choose these areas for re-manifestation as a means of ambushing victims that believed that they had escaped danger. There does not seem to be a limit to the distance of re-manifestation, though, and it can resume an attack anywhere at anytime. It also has precise and thorough control over every muscle in its body, an ability it uses to either continue use of mangled limbs or even instigate self-termination. Its ability to self-terminate combined with its capacity for re-manifestation allows for it to effectively teleport. Finally, Burlap’s voice has a peculiar quality in that it does not emanate from Burlap itself but rather seems to ‘wander’ a given area. This frequently disorientates and confuses potential victims.

This entity is highly dangerous and openly displays sadistic behaviors. It deliberately seeks to cause as much pain as possible to victim, both physical and mental. The favorite tactic to achieve this seems to be that it lets the victim terminate Burlap, only to then re-manifest and trap the victim for prolonged torture. Burlap strangely seems to have an affinity for murderers and torturers, sometimes breaking them out of prisons to aid in its endeavors. Most curious of Burlap’s behavior is its preference of the predation of other anomalous entities. It will abandon non-anomalous prey the moment an anomalous target becomes apparent, aggressively using its own abilities to wear down the opponent. Once the target is sufficiently tired Burlap grabs the entity, and both disappear to an unknown location. Considering entities grabbed by Burlap seemingly never re-manifest, they are considered inactive.

Recommended Actions: Considering the nature of Burlap, the best course of action is to flee as far as possible the fastest way possible. The only sure-fire way to survive an attack is for it to become interested in another target and forget about you, which is unlikely but possible. Realistically, if you are targeted by Burlap and survive the initial encounter, you should straighten out your own affairs and arrange your situation to minimize fatalities when the attack resumes.

PHA3: Carnivorous Houses

Location: Potentially anywhere, with a preference for suburban areas.

Status: Active.

Description and Behaviour: Carnivorous Houses are anomalous entities that manifest on empty plots of land, usually in suburban areas and conforming to local architectural trends. The Registry has so far tracked at least sixteen instances. Residents in the neighborhoods of these instances consistently report that the manifestations start as slow progressing construction sites that never seem to have workers onsite. The current theory is that the houses are self-constructing, which is supported by the fact that the plots in question are never actually purchased.

After construction is completed, neighbors will start to believe that a person or persons have moved into the house. This is despite the complete absence of activity in or around the structure. The non-existent occupant will develop a positive reputation in the community without anyone having encountered them. It is then that people will believe themselves invited into the house for either a party or dinner.

Anyone using any door inside or outside of the house will find it leading to a seemingly random room in the house. The doors forcibly close upon entering every room and if opened again will lead to a different room. If the house rejects a person the front door will instead lead to the back door, and vice versa. A person is rejected if equipped with tools that may help with escape (a sledgehammer, for example). Once inside the building, the ‘guests’ often become panicked after looking around the house for their ‘host’ and discovering the anomalous nature of the building. This leads to them frantically going from room to room searching for a way out, often for hours, tiring themselves out. Eventually, once the victims are unwary with exhaustion, they open a door that leads to what is presumed to be a large stomach where the victim falls in. The few survivors who saw the room without entering have described as a “moist, fleshy stadium” with steep sides and a pool of acid at the bottom filled with partially digested people. This room has never been located in any demolitions of these entities, and therefore its location is presumed separate from the Carnivorous Houses.

Recommended Actions: Due to the clear mind-altering nature of this entity, many of its potential victims fail to take proper precautions or take proper actions when in the Carnivorous Houses themselves. It is important to take your time, assess your situation, and preserve your energy. So far, every manifestation of these entities has been able to block cell phone signals either partially or fully. The best course of action is to make sure people, such as family, are always aware of your plans and wait for rescue when your disappearance is noticed. If no one is aware of your plans, make as much noise as possible to try attracting attention to your situation.