HMN14: The Know-It-All

Location: N/A, Summoned Entity

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: The Know-It-All is an anomalous entity often sought for its extensive knowledge on a multitude of subjects. It is summoned by sealing oneself in a ‘summoning cube’ made with mirrors facing inward on all sides and then reading aloud a select passage from The Grimoire of V’Thuuk, a work associated with the Chained Gods. The various cults associated with the Chained Gods consider it to be either a conduit or servant of V’Thuuk (the Crystal God).

The entity, when summoned, takes the form of a six and a half foot (2 meter) tall humanoid composed of crystal with ever-shifting colors and a bright light emanating from where the heart would be. The Know-It-All will engage the summoner in conversation immediately, always inquiring as to what the summoner wishes to learn about. Its voice has been known to be strong enough to shatter poorly constructed summoning cubes. This entity can be asked any question, and usually provides an easy to understand answer. It will sometimes be unable to answer a question, citing either a lack of knowledge or the inability of mortal languages to convey a certain idea. If the question is about something that this entity thinks the summoner should already know, it will grow frustrated and berate them for asking ‘imbecilic questions’ and wasting its time.

The summoning of the Know-It-All lasts as long as the summoning cube remains intact. The longer its manifestation lasts, the more frustrated it gets. After about five minutes into the summoning the individual reflections of the summoner will start behaving independently, making statements and asking questions that are often nonsensical or even insulting. The Know-It-All will hold the summoner accountable for the actions and statements of the reflections and will inevitably initiate a violent assault once sufficiently irritated. Breaking the summoning cube is the only way to escape the entity, unfortunately if it desires to punish the summoner the cube will be unbreakable until the entity is satisfied with the injuries inflicted. There are no recorded instances of death occurring in relation to this entity, though summoners are unusually prone to developing severe mental illnesses.

Recommended Actions: It is recommended to not summon any entities. If it is necessary, or if your participation is forced, make sure to practice effective time management. Write down the questions in clear language ahead of time, ask them in an orderly manner, and have someone standing by to destroy the summoning cube before your reflections start misbehaving. If the Know-It-All takes issue with anything you or your reflections say, immediately apologize. Doing this will ensure the best odds of avoiding injury.

HHH7: The Vapors Priest

Location: The Mediterranean region.

Status: Active.

Description and Behavior: The Vapors Priest was the head of the Chained Gods Temple before its dissolution and is the current head of the splinter organisation Servants of the Chained Gods. This entity is a smooth blue gemstone resembling a human eye in both appearance and size. The ‘eye’ emits a blue vaporous mass shaped like a human torso with four arms and a head. In the middle of what would be the face is where the ‘eye’ is located. The Vapors Priest is able to control its vapors to such a degree as to be able to decide whether objects can pass through its mass, which allows it to do such acts as pick up objects with its ‘hands’.

In order to understand the Vapors Priest, it is important to understand the pantheon of ‘gods’ it claims to serve. It is claimed that the full forms of the Chained Gods are kept imprisoned in the deepest depths of a great lake of fire by their enemies, the Oppressor and the Traitor, and will be freed upon the restoration of the Bust of the Goddess (OLC1). For the time being they interact with the mortal world through significantly weaker ‘conduits’. Out of the thousands of gods worshipped, the main five are as follow:

The Chained Goddess is the chief god, she is also known as the Mistress, the Queen, Ri’Lheni, and Vynis. Her full form is described as being reminiscent of a massive female centaur; though with three eyes, a multitude of horns, and equipped with a halberd. Literature associated with the worship of the Chained Gods claim her to be the goddess of motherhood, order, and justice. Her followers pray to her about issues related to planning, parenting, judging, and protection.

The Crystal God functions as the second in command in most Chained Gods myths and is also known as the Librarian, Clear-Maker, Curiothrax, and V’Thuuk. His full form is described as a thousand-side crystal with an eye on every side and countless scrolls containing great knowledge floating around him. He is claimed to be the god of knowledge, discovery, and history. Followers pray to him about issues relating to the unknown, records, and research.

The Harvest God operates as an advisor to the other gods and is also known as the Time-Keeper, Intercessor of the Faithful, Logothrax, and U’Lukrwth. His full form is described as a sphere of flesh with a multitude of extremely long ‘fingers’ he uses to interact with the world and hold his harvesting tools. He is claimed to be the god of the harvest, logic, calendars, and souls. Followers pray to him about issues relating to food, interpretation, and that he will grab their souls when they die so that they can be with their gods. Some literature depicts this entity as female.

The Marcher Goddess is the head of the armies of the Chained Gods and is also known as the Great Lizard, the Warrior, B’Thule, and Qi-Syth. Her full form is described as a massive humanoid reptile with two heads and covered with ornate armor, armed with a spear and followed by her reptilian servants. She is claimed to be the goddess of war, dueling, and honor. Followers pray to her about issues relating to war, martial prowess, and protection from schemes.

The Cannibal God currently occupies no official role but used to be the executioner of the Chained Gods and is also known as Sir Sackcloth, the Chaotic One, Saedo, and Xarquul. His full form is described as a skeletal figure with massive wings and antlers, clothed in sackcloth and rough iron armor while armed with a large battle-axe, grey glowing piercing through a sackcloth veil. He is claimed to be the god of chaos, murder, and torture. It is required by the followers of the Chained Gods to pray to every single other god for protection from him before attempting to pray to the Cannibal God. Due to this, he is only ever prayed to for extreme acts of vengeance.

With this knowledge in mind, the Vapors Priest serves these entities by undertaking actions to further their goals with especial dedication to the Chained Goddess. These actions include intelligence gathering, anomaly acquisition, and assassinations; and the actions themselves are usually performed by members of the Servants of the Chained Gods. These ‘Servants’ are persons that the Vapors Priest convinced to inhale the vapors that it produces. The vapors grant the person anomalous qualities in exchange for a reduction in the capacity for independence. This is likely due to the collapse of the Temple in part being caused by empowered members of the Temple operating too independently of the Priest’s plans.

Recommended Actions: If you encounter the Vapors Priest, or the Servants of the Chained Gods, vacate the situation immediately. Anyone who is caught is always either persuaded to join them or killed. The best way to escape the situation is by using a vehicle to get away from their area of operation. These areas of operation tend to be near and focused on other anomalous entities. Therefore, it is important to make haste to an area devoid of anomalous activity as the Vapors Priest rarely moves far from its goals.